Incompatível

Hello there! Long time no see! (ha ha, as if)

September already. Still no word about if or when we will be moving this year. We were hoping to pack our bags and leave this place before the rainy season is upon us, but I honestly just want to be out of here NOW. Is it too much to ask? D is having a hard time too. People here seem to have expectations of a pastor that are not in line with the way things should be. Theologically. Sure Theoretically one can try to adapt as much as possible, but in the end we are the way we are. Our personality, upbringing and education is not something that can be undone. In our case all of these are simply not compatible with the vast majority of the population of the region where we live here in Northern Brazil. Not to mention that we both refuse to play the hypocrisy game that people here think is “polite”. For example, they refuse to be critical of anything to you face. If you dare express some negativity about a situation, it “isn’t right” to say so. Only among themselves. Nobody is perfect, but how is being fake supposed to be a good Christian example to anyone?

Hibiscus

Yesterday hubby gave me my first driving lesson. I have to learn to drive with a stick. Unlike North America where most cars here have manual transmission! Why, oh why?!! What a pain in the *! In our first years we were hoping to buy an automatic car one day, but we’ve realized that we will most likely never be able to afford one. First of all, cars here are much more expensive than in Canada (compared to salaries). Second, automatic cars are rare AND much more expensive than the manual ones. So, yeah. I’m learning how to drive again… The boys were in the car with us and we went to the (almost deserted) airport parking lot to have my first “lesson”. In between my (exaggerated) screams of despair (when I stalled) and shrieks of joy (when I got the transmission change), the kids asked when we would get into the plane… Soon my little ones, God willing very soon!

Orchideas

At home everybody is fine and healthy, which is the most important. However I still don’t feel “at home”, which translates to daily frustrations. The other day, I was wondering if we still had the “Complete Works of Shakespeare” somewhere. I realized that some of our books have been packed 4 years ago and are still in boxes… After looking though half a dozen boxes, I did find the book, but how I hate this! I’d like to buy some nice shelves (simple but nice, real wood, custom made) and unpack all my music books beside the piano, and all my favorite novels in a “reading nook”. Ah, the plans I have in my head !

I am still looking longingly at the real estate ads in our “future” town. We hope to buy what they call a chácara which loosely translates as “country house, or farmstead”. It’s basically a house that has a bit more property than a town house. I can’t think of any comparison because in some cities there are actually some entire neighborhoods comprised of chacaras… Which doesn’t make sense if you think of chacaras as country houses in a city neighborhood… Anyway. In our case it would very probably be in an un-developed part of the city because I simply don’t want to live in an apartment. Not with three children who need to run around. Not now that we live in a country where the climate allows you to enjoy the outdoors all year round. I want enough room for some chickens (fresh eggs!), coconut, papaya, lemon and blackberry trees, a vegetable garden, a tree house and maybe a couple of dogs. Dream, dream, dream…

Categorias: inglês, jardim, sonhos | 8 Comentários

O Estrangeiro

I’ve just finished reading L’Étranger (The Stranger) by Camus. It had been on my to-read list for a long time because it’s a “classic” and I (stupidly) challenged myself to read more classics this year. Well, how depressing. It’s about a guy who kills a man by accident and gets death penalty. Sure, it’s well written and all. As the reader you get into his head, get as bored as he is about the events that unfold. But really, what was the point of reading such a depressing story ?! Ah, but maybe this novel is about more than just another depressing story, and I simply don’t get the philosophy of the absurd. Whatever.

I’m getting frustrated with the French literature: Madame Bovary is a bored adulterous woman who lets herself die of unhappiness (leaving a heartbroken husband and a motherless child), the Stranger is again bored and, though he seems to think he is happy, ends up… headless. I’m having a hard time reading Le Rouge et le Noir (the Black and the Red) by Stendhal, because it’s yet again another story of a coldhearted young man who starts an affair with a married woman…

The only pleasant surprise so far (in the world of French literature) (that I’ve read recently) (that I can think of) was Au Bonheur des Dames (The Ladies’ Paradise) by Zola. As a teenager, a friend had loved it and lend it to me… but the descriptions were too long for my taste then. This time around I found myself delighting in such wealth of details in mid-nineteenth century fashion and innovations in the department store. The main character, Denise, is actually virtuously strong and refuses the advances of her rich boss, who is reputed to be a ladies’ man. I know, shocking in a French novel… Maybe I will enjoy reading more of Emile Zola.

Categorias: inglês, leituras | 12 Comentários

Nuit Blanche

In all my “wild” years as a music student, practicing a couple of hours everyday, going to concerts at night, dancing tango a dozen hours per week, I never managed to pull an all nighter. I would sleep in late in the morning, have a nap in the afternoon, and be fresh(er) the day after.

Well, that was, er, more than ten years ago.

This week, for the first time in my life, and for an unknown reason, I didn’t sleep at all from the night of Wednesday to Thursday. Not a wink. Each time I would lie down to try to sleep, I would start coughing (we all had some kind of a cold last week), but then I would stand, drink a sip of water, sit at the computer and be fine. I did this twice then just gave up to try to sleep. I put some music in my ears, and started sewing the night away. I caught up on the small repairs and a few projects that were pilling up. I started the night frustrated with that insomnia, but ended up quite happy with all the music I listened to and the sewing I finished. Uninterrupted.

In the small hours of the morning I opened the front door and enjoyed the quiet of the sleeping town and the sunrise. With a soundtrack in my ears. It was wonderful.

The strangest in all of this is that the following day I was fine. I didn’t even need a nap in the afternoon! Weird, uh?

At 9:30pm, though, I was fast asleep.

With my clothes on.

Categorias: inglês, sobre mim | 4 Comentários

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