Chega de saudade

Ce matin j’écoutais la radio en allemand (sur Radio Garden, je conseille vivement) et je grelotais de froid. Il ne faisait que 20°C chez moi. Que voulez-vous j’ai perdu l’habitude, c’est le vrai hivers brésilien ici, quoi! Et puis, cinq minutes plus tard, j’entend les allemands se plaindre de leur été frisquet cette année… Il ne faisait que 17°C chez eux. Ha ha.

Quand j’ai raconté cette petite anecdote à D, il a bien rigolé. Lui qui a le sang chaud n’a jamais souffert de l’hivers canadien, par contre ici son malaise est extrême pendant les mois chauds. C’était carrément l’enfer pour lui en Rondônia. Par contre pour les enfants et moi qui sommes plus frileux, nous allons avoir un sacré choc quand on retourne au Canada.

J’ai bien dit “quand” et non pas “si”, parce qu’en effet, oui… Nous retournons au Canada!

Ce n’est pas un secret, même si je n’écris plus souvent par ici, les cinq derniéres années au Brésil ont été très difficiles pour nous. Spirituellement, émotionellement, financièrement, culturellement. Et en fait, depuis que nous sommes ici nous avons eu le constant incomfort de ceux qui ne font que passer. D’abord c’était tout simplement la fin du monde. On voulait tout simplement que le supplice passe aussi vite que possible. Puis ça c’est un peu améliorer l’année passée à Goias, mais c’était quand même pas super. La ville trop petite et loin de tout pour s’imaginer “grandir” là trop longtemps.

Alors nous sommes allés mettre à jour nos passeports canadiens au service consulaire de l’Ambassade du Canada à Brasilia. Juste “au cas où”. Je pense que ce que l’on aimait le plus de nos brefs passages à la capitale est que tout y était tellement propre, la ville bien planifiée, et le climat tellement agréable que l’on se sentait presque de retour au Canada!

Maintenant que la décision est prise, on se souvient de plusieurs moments avec une sorte de double vision. Par exemple, quand D a fait les démarches pour nos contributions pour la retraite, il a eu la forte sensation que c’était de l’argent jeté par la fenêtre. Et chaque mois, quand je retournais au guichet de la Loterica pour faire le paiement, je me disais la même chose… Était-ce une vision, une intuition, ou wishful thinking?

Autre exemple plus récent, quand L (ma belle-mère adorée) a offert des manteaux d’hivers aux garçons au mois de mai (début des fraîcheurs hivernales ici), je me suis dit: “Ça c’est bon pour l’hivers canadien”, mais j’ai repoussé cette pensée en me disant simplement que ces manteaux étaient un peu exagérés pour le Brésil!

Pour l’instant, nous sommes encore à l’étape préliminaire. D va annoncer sa décision dimanche. Il n’y a pas grand chose que l’on puisse faire pour l’instant à part en parler avec nos meilleurs amis canadiens et américains qui prient pour nous, et penser à tout ce qu’il faudra vendre, donner, jeter, emboîter (une fois de plus).

D ira loger chez nos amis qui habitent à W (Ontario), d’où il cherchera un emploi dans la ville même ou plus loin si nécessaire London, Guelph, etc. Tout est incertain de ce côté là. Aprés avoir empaqueté nos choses, prètes à envoyer, et libéré la maison, j’irais vivre chez mes beaux-parents avec les enfants en attendant de savoir quelle sera notre nouvelle adresse. Je n’ai encore rien dit ni à mes parents, ni aux écoles où je travaille… Notre période d’attente risque d’être plus ou moins longue dépendement du marché du travail en Ontario, et je ne veux pas avoir du stress supplémentaire.

Nous sommes quand même tristes que ce soit la situation de l’église qui nous pousse à retourner au Canada. Nous sommes aussi tristes (gros PINCEMENT au coeur!!!) d’aller vivre encore une fois loin de la famille. La lueur d’espoir, quand même, est que maintenant qu’ils sont tout les deux retraités, ils envisagent de vendre leur (grande et belle) maison pour venir nous rejoindre plus tard, quand nous seront installés! Et E (mon beau frère) et M (sa copine) envisagent eux aussi de nous suivre… Qui sait, peut-être que d’ici quelques années, nous vivrons à nouveau tous proches de l’autre côté de l’Amérique!



I know, I know, this is a sad excuse of a blog (last entry was 3 months ago, seriously?!), but instead of getting lost is a stream of the usual unconvincing excuses (busy or lazy? Maybe both), here are some news.

The children have their winter break for the entire month of July. D has decided to finally take a much needed vacation at the same time (his last vacation was in October 2015, when we were still living in Rondônia, before moving for 9 months in Goiás, then moving again to where we are now — 2016 was a busy year of tiring changes). And on my end, the language schools are having what they call a “recess”; the usual classes are suspended, but some individual private students still have occasional lessons. So, our month has been chaotic to say the least. Our usual routine of

school, work, church,

has been replace by

play at home, play at the park, check out the downtown parks, medical appointments, and a day at the beach (2-hours away)

all these activities performed together as a family, as opposed to the usual debate of “who is going to take the kids while the other has to work or go somewhere”. And lately, for me, night classes for the drivers license. You’ve read that right. I have to go through the whole process of a first driver’s license again… *BIG SIGH OF ANNOYANCE*

I will tell you all the sad little details of the Brazilian bureaucracies another day, because I am not mentally prepared to write anything more than AAAAAAAAAArgh!!! and *BIG GRUNT* right now.

Our day at the beach had been long awaited by the kids. They had seen the sea for the first time one very dark, cold and cloudy day when they were accompanying their dad who was conducting a service in São Sebastião. “That’s a lot of water”, they said, greatly impressed. Of course they have been wanting to go back ever since. Never mind that here July is the winter month (thankfully dry but cold by Brazilian standard, 15°C in the house this morning), and finding a sunny but not too cold day was not any easy task. MIL and I were checking the weather reports. We both planned the family excursion with relish; how long had we waited to have such an outing, including grand-parents, uncle, his girlfriend, D and I and the kids? A dream come true! We packed two cars with food and drinks for the day (it turned out to be enough for the whole week if we were planning to stay!), woke up at 6 am on a very foggy day (OMG I hope it clears up! It’s SUPPOSED to clear up!), and drove down to the sea. The road is pretty dangerous, zig zaging down the mountain, but we made it in one piece… And, oh, the view!

The beach of Lagoinha was perfect for the kids. There were enough waves to be fun, but not too deep for a long while, allowing them to “swim” by themselves. But the most enjoyable, really, is the smell of the sea and the sound of the surf. Relaxing and therapeutic.


Shortly after my parents visit, the boys started their school year. First year of primary school for the twins and last year of kindergarten for Uriel. It is their first time going to different schools so I was a little apprehensive, but once again I can’t see why because they all went off joyfully to school. No cries, no stress, nothing. Pretty cool. Luckily both schools are a few streets away from home (in different directions), so we all get a healthy walk (or run) before and after school (double for me). Why pay a monthly fee for a gym when you can simply walk your kids to school? 🙂

After I left off, last time I wrote, the language school called me back asking if, in addition to the French classes, I could also teach German (!!!)  “Yes, of course” I replied, while thinking that I certainly didn’t see that one coming. Seeing that I speak six languages apparently greatly impressed them, and in their logic I can certainly teach all of them. They seem not to understand, though, that teaching French for one hour immediately followed by an hour of German is not a great idea. In the first 10 minutes of German, my brain has a tendency to have wires crossed… All the Portuguese, French and German files want to say “hello”, stumble all out of my mouth at the same time, and I get funny looks from my students. Luckily they are aware of my hexalingual status and are too amazed themselves to complain about it. So we have a good laugh and go on with our lesson! haha.

I am obviously enjoying the teaching job greatly. The school provides the teacher with the teaching program (thus reduced preparation time), facilities (classroom and white board), and students (the secretaries take care of the payments), but in return the teacher gets paid only a little fraction of what the students are paying for lessons. I would definitely earn more if I were giving private lessons. At the same time, most adult students are only interested in evening classes, so that greatly reduces the possibilities of more hours. I only teach from 7PM to 9PM, from Monday to Thursday. I told them that they could give me younger students at earlier hours, but I think that they reserve the English groups for all the rest of the teachers (there is a much greater interest in English, and consequently more English teachers — I am their only French and German teacher for both schools). It is also a great motivation for me to freshen up my German skills (lesen, reden und schreiben — reading, speaking, listening). I review the grammar and try to understand it in such a way that is easy to explain. Easier said than done, especially for me who has as very intuitive way of learning languages, but definitely interesting.

This is all the fun stuff.

Then there is the other side of the coin that makes hubby and I constantly wonder if we haven’t made a huge and expensive mistake moving from Canada to Brazil. There is too much I would like to say about this, it will probably be for another post. It saddens me and exhausts me too. I don’t want to move again so soon.

Our spiritual  and financial struggles are weighing down on us.